Memory Care: When is it Time?
If you are caring at home for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, likely you are struggling with this question, When will it be time to move my loved one into a memory care community?
Even if you’ve already made the move, you may wonder whether you’ve done the right thing. The decision is never simple or easy.
Trigger Points
Once diagnosed with memory loss, a person might be able live independently, or with family, for some time. But sooner or later, there may come a time when that person requires more care than can be provided at home.
An instance of wandering is often the trigger that leads families to consider assisted living. Many people with dementia are prone to wandering, and they can easily get lost, fall, or become injured. When that happens, 24-hour supervision is needed to keep the person safe.
Some people with Alzheimer’s experience “sundowner syndrome“— a period of agitated behavior that becomes more pronounced later in the day. Others might exhibit verbal, physical, and even sexual aggression. When these difficult behaviors persist, caregivers and other family members may suffer or begin to feel resentful.
Caregiver burnout is also a key factor. As the disease progresses into the late-stages, round-the-clock care requirements become more intensive. When the primary caregiver is also older, his or her health can quickly become compromised as well.
“Studies show that those who care for a person with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia are more likely to experience health problems themselves,” said Sharon Shields-Rios, RN, Director of Quality Assurance for Autumn Leaves. “The constant stress can compromise the caregiver’s health.”
An Intermediate Solution
Getting away is particularly important for caregivers, especially those who are seniors themselves. Caring for a person with dementia who needs assistance with daily living activities – eating and bathing, for example – can be physically demanding. In many cases, people with dementia have difficulty sleeping, and that can mean disturbed sleep for the caregiver, too.
One intermediate solution is day stay or respite care (overnight care) for your loved one at an Autumn Leaves community. For those who are looking to eventually move a family member into a memory care community permanently, day stay or respite care offers a good way to “try out” a community.
When families bring a loved one with dementia to an Autumn Leaves community for day stay or respite care, they often notice the loved one becomes more alert and engaged, due to the opportunities to socialize and participate in daily activities in the community. This “test drive” can help assuage worries or feelings of guilt. That’s especially important for those caregivers feel as if they should do it all to care for a loved one’s needs, according to the Alzheimer’s Association’s Respite Care Guide.
“Seeking help does not make you a failure,” the Guide says. “It’s important to remember that respite services benefit the person with dementia as well as the caregiver.”
Wrestling with Difficult Emotions
Even if you planned ahead with the person for a move, moving your loved one into assisted living can trigger feelings of guilt or sadness. These feelings are common.
Should you choose an Autumn Leaves community for your family member, our staff will guide you through the process. You’ll help design an individualized care plan for your loved one, and our staff will communicate with you often with updates. You’ll be invited to join us for meals and special celebrations. And you’ll soon discover that the families of residents are part of every Autumn Leaves community, and this can ease the transition.
The Alzheimer’s Association suggests these questions to help you decide whether it’s time to consider an assisted living memory care community for your loved one:
Is the person with dementia becoming unsafe in his or her current home?
Is the health of the person with dementia or my health as a caregiver at risk?
Are the person’s care needs beyond my physical abilities?
Am I becoming a stressed, irritable and impatient caregiver?
Am I neglecting work responsibilities, my family and myself?
Would the structure and social interaction at a care facility benefit the person with dementia?
If you feel you would like to evaluate your decisions by filling out a quick no obligation personal assessment, here’s a link to one that many have found helpful in their decisions.
