Many people head out to the malls on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. But here’s an alternative that won’t cost you anything, and could create treasured memories: spend a few hours that day sharing family stories.
November is Family Stories Month. And on the day after Thanksgiving, an organization called StoryCorps invites all Americans to take an hour to record an interview with a loved one as part of The Great Thanksgiving Listen.
Stories are the way we relate to each other as human beings. In fact, neuroscientists believe our brains are hardwired to relate to and retain stories.
You may wonder whether your loved one with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia still has memories and stories to share. While someone with advanced disease may no longer be able to communicate, those in the early and middle stages may still be able to tell stories, especially those from the past.
“Storytelling can be very therapeutic for people with dementia,” says Clair Jameson, Autumn Leaves’ Director of Life Engagement. “Many people with dementia retain long-term memory for some time after their short-term memory has become compromised.”
If your loved one has difficulty getting started, try using prompts, such as photos, mementoes, or verbal cues.
Clair recalls sharing a collaging activity with a new resident named Barbara, in which they assembled pictures from magazines that related to the theme, “What does summer mean to you?” Barbara, who had been withdrawn until then, began to reminisce aloud about family vacations on the beach as they worked with photos of beach scenes.
“That connection to a treasured memory helped her to come out of her shell and share her stories,” said Clair.
Making up stories
Storytelling helps people with dementia, and the stories don’t have to be real or based in memories. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin in Milwaukee used pictures to encourage people with dementia to make up stories, giving them a low-stress way to communicate.
One study showed that storytelling enables people with dementia to be more engaged and alert, and helps caregivers connect with residents in memory care communities. Another study showed that participants in storytelling activities were happier and better able to communicate.
“If you’re not having any luck prompting memories, show your loved one a funny or interesting photo, and ask them what they see,” Clair suggests. “Help them to make up a story about the photo.”
Listening Tips
Encouraging a person with dementia to tell his or her stories involves good listening skills as well as some patience. The Alzheimer’s Association offers these tips:
Be patient and supportive. Let the person know you’re listening and that you care about what he or she is saying. If you’ve asked a question, wait for a response. Be careful not to interrupt.
Offer reassurance. If the person is having trouble communicating, let him or her know that it’s okay. Avoid criticizing or correcting.
Listen and repeat what is said if it helps to clarify the thought. Offer a guess if the person is having difficulty.
