An elderly man was eager to finish his doctor’s appointment quickly, because he wanted to join his wife for breakfast, as he did every day, at the 
memory care community where she lived. Knowing that the wife had Alzheimer’s disease, the doctor asked why he continues to go faithfully, even though the wife no longer knew who he was.
“Because,” the old gentleman replied, “I still know who she is.”
That story, which went viral on social media, may not be factual, but it’s real. At Autumn Leaves, our staff members witness this kind of devotion every day with our residents’ spouses and loved ones. Many of us are inspired and touched by their examples. Most of us have favorite stories of the tender care of a spouse whose loved one is living with dementia.
Clair Jameson, Director of Life Engagement, remembers resident Alice and her husband Durward, who visited Autumn Leaves every day, always bringing Alice’s favorite cookies.
“My role has changed, but that has not diminished my love for her, or her love for me,” Durward told Clair.
Durward’s words are wise, Clair says. “When a spouse is living with dementia, the relationship must change as the disease progresses,” she said. “The love is still there, it’s still strong, but the relationship must adjust to the new realities.”
Clair also recalls the devotion of Perry, husband of Nathalie, a resident of Autumn Leaves. Perry visited the community every day to work in the garden with Nathalie.
“Gardening helped keep them connected to their past,” Clair said. “Whatever they enjoyed together before she came to Autumn Leaves, he tried to bring to the community.”
Romance and love are on all of our minds in February. Not only do we celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14, it’s also National Open Your Heart to Love month and National Weddings Month! Let’s take a moment to honor the enduring love that so many of our spouses and family members faithfully show to our residents. That’s real love!
